The OMG clan started on Crop Circles last time and now we're moving on to Magic Portals. Demons and aliens we can deal with, just don't open one to the perfume department.
1st Prize: 10p or townstone and pubpad
2nd Prize: A 12-line, 4 stanza poem written in ABAB composition. It will be a poem about you, written by yours truly.
3rd Prize: Rare Grey Telepad. It is an extremely rare one-way telepad that only sometimes works. Normally such an offer would be foolish, as they are becoming unfathomably scarce. But as you can see, my generosity knows no bounds.