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An anime my friend and I are making


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#1 TheWorldWideGamer

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Posted 11 March 2015 - 04:14 AM

Hello everybody! So, if you read the title you know what this is going to be, so here it is. NOTE:This is not finished any mistakes will be fixed.  Eric and Ireland's Manga: Characters: Tomoki: Boy Age: 18     Yosho: Girl Age: 18 Yuri: Girl Age: 18    Place: Seattle,Washington     Scene 1:(Yosho is walking down street while  listening to music and then bumps into Tomoki with a bag) Tomoki: Oh! Hi Yosho, I didn't know you walked down here. Yosho: I guess I just lost track of where i was going. Stupid music. Tomoki: *Picks up bag for Yosho* There you go. Yosho: Thanks Tomoki. Tomoki: No problem, anytime. *Yosho goes back the way to her house and Tomoki walks to his house* (END SCENE) Scene 2: (Tomoki's House) Tomoki: Heh, funny running into Yosho today, wonder why she was walking this way? D-d-d-does she like me!? *END SCENE* Scene 3: (Yosho's House) Yosho: Wow!! Tomoki picked up my books for me! Does he like me!? I hope he does! Oh! Maybe he wants to go out to see a movie!! *Yosho calls Tomoki* Yosho: Hi Tomoki. Tomoki: Oh, h-h-h-hi Yosho, need help with you homework again? Yosho: No i finished it. Tomoki: Cool, I did too. So what did you call me for? Yosho: Oh! I was just wondering.......Do you want to see a movie or something today? Tomoki: Uhh (What is she thinking? Does she really like me!?) Sure, when shall we go? Yosho: In 25 minutes? Tomoki: Uh, sure let me shower. Yosho: Gotcha! Bye! Tomoki: Bye. (END SCENE) Scene 4: (After Yosho and Tomoki got ready Tomoki went in his car to pick up Yosho) Yosho: *gets in car* Thanks for picking me up Tomoki. Tomoki: No problem, so what movie are we gonna see? Yosho: Uhh (Would he care if it was a romantic comedy?) How about a romantic comedy? Tomoki: Uh, sure. Which one? Yosho: How about Kiss of Death? Tomoki: Sure,how much are the tickets? Yosho: $15 each. Tomoki: I will pay. Yosho: Thanks! (END SCENE) Scene 5: (Right when Tomoki and Yosho arrive at the theater) Tomoki: 2 tickets to Kiss of Death please. Theater clerk: Ok, $25 please. *Tomoki gives the theater clerk the $25 and the clerk gives Tomoki and Yosho the tickets* Yosho: Should we get popcorn and soda or something? Tomoki: Sure, I have more then enough money with me. Yosho: Heh, I bet. *Tomoki and Yosho get some popcorn and soda* Yosho: So...lets go I guess. Tomoki: Ok. *Tomoki and Yosho head to the movie room and sit down right when the movie is starting* Tomoki: Lets start watching I guess. Yosho: Ok. *They watch the movie till the end where the main characters are about to kiss* Yosho: Tomoki, I have something to tell you, it's really important. Tomoki: Can it wait till the end? Yosho: Ya.  Tomoki: Ok. *The movie ends and everyone claps* Tomoki: So Yosho, what did you have to tell me? Yosho: Oh, umm (Crap! Should I tell him I like him? No i should wait!) How is it with you and Yuri? Tomoki: Oh, uhh....Good. *Yuri walks down from one of the seats* Yuri: Tomoki!! What are you  doing hanging out with an other girl? Tomoki: Oh my god I can hangout with who I want, when I want! Yuri: Uh, wrong! You are my  boyfriend and I made you popular! Tomoki: You think I care about being popular? I think popular people just think they are better than everybody!! You know what? We're through!! Yuri: N-o--o-o! I will change I swear! Tomoki: NO! No more chances! THIS IS FINAL! Yuri: FINE! *Yuri, Tomoki and Yosho walk out of the theater* *END SCENE*


Oops, did i say anime? I ment magna, sorry about that!


*Manga


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#2 madman

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Posted 11 March 2015 - 04:25 AM

a bit weird since there are only basically 2 characters and it seems weird to have it centered around 2 japanese people in america :/ but since they are in Seattle maybe they can bump into robby sometime ;)


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#3 Kralereth

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Posted 11 March 2015 - 05:10 AM

If they're 18 why would they have homework?
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#4 Dragonslayerwei

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Posted 11 March 2015 - 08:39 AM

If they're 18 why would they have homework?

Ever heard of University?


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#5 The Blood Rose Alchemist

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Posted 11 March 2015 - 09:10 AM

Plus, instead of writing it, could you show the actual pages. I skipped like 86% of the wall of text.


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#6 TheWorldWideGamer

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Posted 12 March 2015 - 12:33 AM

Thanks for the feedback so far good or bad!


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#7 The Blood Rose Alchemist

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Posted 12 March 2015 - 12:51 AM

Thanks for the feedback so far good or bad!

I seriously can't give feedback based on words. You need to draw up the scenes. and this is coming from an Avid Anime Reader of Shonen Jump.


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#8 Jason354

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Posted 12 March 2015 - 10:45 PM

Sounds good. I don't understand the last part though!  ^_^



#9 madman

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Posted 13 March 2015 - 03:13 AM

Plus, instead of writing it, could you show the actual pages. I skipped like 86% of the wall of text.

funny how you skip %86 of all posts, even if it isnt a wall of text. also the story line needs to get more complicated, at the moment its pretty much boy and girl like each other but then they dont.


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#10 HammBerger3

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Posted 13 March 2015 - 05:06 AM

Plus, instead of writing it, could you show the actual pages. I skipped like 86% of the wall of text.


honestly I did too

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#11 Kralereth

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Posted 13 March 2015 - 05:31 AM

Oops, did i say anime? I ment magna, sorry about that!

Edit the post
And yes you can edit the title if you use full edit not quick edit
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"I'm just here to watch people die" -TheGreatOnion
"MY SIGT KEY BKORK" -Po2005
"could I end a helping hand?" -Ankos